How Are You Defining Your Success?

                      How Are You Defining Your Success?


Consider these Six Pillars.                        By Dr. Daphne Clarke-Hudson.

                   You’ve heard the cliché; success is a journey, not a destination. In many cases I agree. There is more fun in the chasing than in the catching. A gentleman attending a presentation at a National conference I attended shared this story with the group. I went fishing with a friend of mine and caught a very large striped bass. He was thrilled and scrambled around to find a camera to take a picture. When I bent over to let the fish go, he said, “What are you doing? We can clean it and fry it up back at the cabin!” My reply was, “Man, I don’t want to clean this fish.” Then I let him go. My take away from this story is One went fishing for dinner, the other went fishing for recreation.

What do you see this story illustrating for you?

                   If you said that there is more fun in the pursuit of the chase. You could be right; on the other hand you might have said it would have given so much satisfaction for you when you served dinner!  There are no wrong or right answers to this question. Only your personal experience and views on the topic.

                   You too could be right it’s a matter of choice and personal decision. Success is some way like that; we must choose to define our own success. We are part of a society that loves the thrill of the chase, the excitement of what’s going to happen, the what ifs, and the hopes that come with them. We definitely LOVE a good challenge. Once you’ve “arrived,” you have to set different goals and have a plan in place to get those thrills again.

                  Too many people think that success is wrapped up in things, but the truth is, success is wrapped up in how you see yourself and how you’re able to enjoy your life be authentically.

                  To have a completely successful life along both professional and personal, you find “VALUE” you should consider these six components:

1. Peace of Mind. Can anyone truly consider themselves successful if they lack this ingredient? People around the world are constantly searching for peace of mind. I define peace of mind as freedom from fear, worry, anger, and guilt. I think we seek peace of mind through many channels, some of them are destructive and some are worthwhile. Some seek peace of mind through faith, some through money, others in relationships, others in work, and still others seek to fill this void through participation in vices such as gambling or drugs. Very few ever truly find peace of mind outside of their faith, however. Success, no matter how you define it, must have peace of mind in the mix; otherwise your success will be bland and watered down.

2. Health Energy and Wellness. “Success” without good health and the energy to enjoy life isn’t success at all; it’s just a shell of what it can be. Many people that are financially successful in the world’s eyes spend their fortunes in desperate attempts to regain their health or to stay youthful and vibrant. Any success without health and energy is like a high performance car with no gasoline in the tank.

3. Loving Relationships and Connections. No matter how much financial success someone enjoys, again, it’s a hollow feeling if you have no one to share it with. It doesn’t have to be a spouse; it can be parents, children, friends or other family members. Remember that Scrooge was financially successful, but he had no peace of mind and he had no one to share it with. His success was empty.

4. Financial Freedom. That is, freedom from thinking about money all the time. Not necessarily being “rich,” but having enough money to pay your bills, feed your family, and take care of basic necessities. For some, $50,000 in the bank would be plenty, for others, $5 million wouldn’t be enough. To be sure, many people think of finances when they visualize success and it IS a major component in our culture, but for the purposes of defining success, I’m talking about the feeling of freedom, that deep sigh that everything is okay. 5. Worthy Goals.

                Most people have financial freedom as their top goal, but once you have that big pile of cash, then what? That’s why you constantly see millionaires and billionaires getting involved in some type of other business venture or philanthropy. Many people misinterpret their chasing as greed but for someone who is already financially rich, it’s the chase that they love. Money is just the way to keep score. Humans need to be chasing something. We desperately want to improve ourselves, or someone, or something. It’s just human nature. Either we move or we die.  When we start to embrace the fact that money is Energy just like the air we breathe then we realize that it is always there for us to have all that we want for whatever we want when we want it. There is no reason for worshiping the money or hoarding it.

6. Personal Fulfillment. Maslow called this step Self Actualization. This is the concept of “being all you can be,” of feeling like you matter and that you’re making a difference. This is the feeling that you aren’t just going through the motions for no reason, what you do and who you are is of vital importance. If you have the first five components, but feel unfulfilled and useless, you don’t enjoy the full measure of success. Not all of your endeavors will incorporate all six of these, and any one of them can be a pursuit in itself, but many of these aspects will show up in your pursuit of success. You can adapt these six components into any goal you set for yourself. Wealth for example.

• You’d want the security that it represents.

• The ability to eat well and live a healthy lifestyle.

•The relationships that improve with enough money. Many arguments involve money.

•The freedom it represents. You can do more with it than without it, after all. The ability to set goals much higher than “where’s my next meal coming from.”

 • Lastly, the ability to use money to bless the lives of others.

Applying this article to my personal life and journey to finishing my degree I saw:

•That it represents the relief I experience once you’ve finished.

•The health and energy I feel as a result of accomplishing my goal.

•The relationships it will open up for me. •The potential for financial freedom it represents.

• The higher goals I can now set for myself.

•The feeling that I became a new person with new tools through accomplishing my goals.

Here are a few questions I suggest you ask yourself: What am I chasing in your life? What are the goals that I have and why do you have them?  How do my goals mesh with the six aspects of success? How will my life change once you reach the goals you’ve set? By Daphne Clarke-Hudson PhD.(C) 2014


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